How to smuggle an octopus into the Saddledome

A Detroit Red Wings fan in Calgary takes us the planning, purchasing, and marinating of his so-called crime.

Dylan Burke is planning on fighting the $250 ticket.

“I’m gonna go to court, I’m still gonna state my case and I’m still gonna challenge that ticket,” Burke said. “I hope the cop doesn’t show up. And even if he does, I’m still going to do whatever I can in order get off from those charges.”

The so-called crime: tossing an octopus on the ice on Sunday in Calgary during a game between the Detroit Red Wings and Calgary Flames.

He’s also willing to throw again.

“To be honest with you, I would go to every single arena in North America if I had that kind of disposable income to go and do that everywhere, because it’s just a thrill,” Burke said. “Like it’s literally an adrenaline rush and just the excitement you see on everybody’s face, everything from the players to the refs, to the fan … even seeing the players like Joe (Veleno) and (Ben) Chiarot with a big smile when it happened, you cannot put a price on that. Again, I would take a ticket in every single state and every single province in North America to toss an octopus.”

Burke is a native of Calgary, but he’s been a die-hard Red Wings fan since Nicklas Lidström was drafted by the team in 1989.

But, most importantly, how exactly do you smuggle an octopus into the Saddledome?

For Burke, the idea of tossing the octopus onto the ice in Calgary started last season. He’d been to Red Wings games in Calgary in the past, but the team’s been struggling and hasn’t made the playoffs in seven seasons.

But Burke saw promise last season, he saw a step forward with the Yzerplan and with new head coach Derek Lalonde. In a conversation with other Alberta-based Red Wings fans, he made a vow he’s bring an octopus to the party.

“I told my buddies, ‘next year, I’m tossing an octopus in Calgary,’ and they all looked at me like I was crazy,” Burke said. "So I said, ‘you watch, I guarantee I’m gonna get one and it’s gonna fly.’”

Put up there with the great “guarantees” in sports history. Namath in 1969, Messier in 1994, Burke in 2023.

Now finding an octopus in Calgary wasn’t too easy. Starting three weeks before the game, Burke started searching area grocery stores and fish markets, but couldn’t find one with a full octopus — one with the head still attached.

About 10 days before the game, a friend found one at a farmers market in Calgary. It was frozen, but still had the head attached. He bought if for $40 and Burke paid him $45 for his part of the transaction.

From there Burke needed to make sure the fishy smell didn’t doom his entry into the Saddledome.

He let the octopus defrost for about five days before marinating in.

“I did a little research in terms of how to get rid of the fish smell, because anyone who’s been around seafood knows that can be rank, especially when not cooked,” Burke said. “So I put it in a pool of lemon juice and garlic and I basically marinated it for 48 hours, to mask as much of the fishy smell as possible.”

From there Burke triple bagged the octopus in three Zip-loc bags, and brought it over to his friend’s house for help with the Saran Wrap.

“So we rolled out the Saran Wrap and attached it to my body, and I’m like 6-feet, 195 pounds, but after wrapping the octopus on, putting the hoodie and jersey on, it looked like I was about 240 or 250 pounds, with 15 pounds of that packing octopus,” Burke said. “From there it was all about getting through security and the sensors, and there was almost a mis-step there, I wore belt buckle that could have set off the sensor, but I lucked out.”

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Once in the arena, Burke started scouting for his toss.

He noticed how the ushers would walk up and down sections, and when the whistle blew the ushers would typically walk down to the glass and then work their way back up once play resumed.

That was the window.

“I told my buddy, I needed to get the throw in while the usher was down by the glass, with his back turned to me,” Burke said. “And unfortunately the section I originally wanted to throw from I couldn’t get to, so I went to the opposite side of the arena and staked a spot there.”

At this point Burke actually struck up a conversation with one of the ushers. They started talking bout fandom, and how the usher working the game only viewed it as a job — he wasn’t a Flames fan — and he would often secretly root for other teams.

“I told him that was great and that, ‘I’m gonna give you a reason to cheer for my team,’” Burke said. “He looks at me with an awkward look and asked, ‘what do you mean? You guys are already up 4-0.’”

Burke told the usher, “just wait and see,” and then grabbed an empty seat at the top of that section. He was sitting near another Red Wings fan, who saw him and asked him if he’d been kicked out of his other seat, like she had.

“I looked back at here and told her, ‘No, but I’m about to.’”

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With 9:30 remaining in the third period and the Red Wings working on closing out an eventual shutout victory, Burke saw his window.

He reached under the Saran Wrap, pulled out ziplock bags and removed the octopus.

“At that moment, it’s now or never,” Burke said. “I’ve got this octopus out and these other fans see me and I started raising the roof with the octopus in my hands getting other people excited.”

He ran forward a couple steps, gave it a strong toss, and landed it in the face-off circle.

“I looked around and everyone is going crazy, Flames fans, Wings fans, I started screaming, ‘Let’s go!’ to anyone who would listen,” Burke said. “It was absolute pandemonium and I actually remember making eye contact with one of the mascots, it was a mascot for another local team in Calgary, because it was Harvey the Hound’s Birthday and I think he had the day off. I could see through the mascot eyes, and he his arms in the air like, ‘No, what did you just do??’

“Honestly, it was a picture perfect moment.”

From there Burke ran up to the concourse.

He admits he should have just left the arena, sprinted out of the Saddledome and gotten away with it. Instead, because he wasn’t stopped by the friendly usher from before, he returned to his seat to watch the remainder of the game.

About 10 minutes after he returned to his seat, Burke was found by Saddledome security. Soon after that he says he was detained by Calgary police in the back of a police van.

“I had to sit there and explain to them the Detroit history with the octopus and why we do it, the security guys weren’t having it all, but the cops, there were two of them, are laughing and actually understood,” Burke said. “They just said, ‘wow, that’s commitment and that’s true fandom, we respect that.’”

They also told Burke they could charge him up to $750 for a ticket.

“I actually told them that a fine is a fine, I got that, and I guess I’m technically in the wrong, but I’m doing this for the love of my team,” Burke said. “I’m doing this because my team’s been in a playoff drought for a long time and they’re so close, and maybe this year we can end that drought.”

The officer put Burke back in the van, and about 45 minutes later released him with a $250 ticket.

(He’s had other Wings fans reach out about covering the cost of the ticket. Burke has instead asked people donate to the Jamie Daniels Foundation, which provides support and resources to children, young adults, and their families who are battling substance use disorder.)

He was also told by Saddledome security that he’d be banned for three years, but he’s not sure how well that can actually be enforced.

“It’s not like they use facial recognition at the game, if one of my buddies buys a ticket and my name isn’t on it, are they gonna really gonna know?” Burke said. “I can’t see it happening.”

At the end of the day, it’s a story for a lifetime and Burke would still love to do it again.

“Oh yeah, I’ve got a huge shit-eating grin on my face while I’m telling you this, it’s like ear to ear,” Burke said. “I’m smiling and it’s great, I’d say once in a lifetime experience, but I’d like to do it again.”